You are Not Alone

Updated: Jan 19

I see you, striving to be the best mom you can be, but feeling pretty dang lonely.

You attended endless trainings that made you feel like you would never be prepared enough to welcome kids into your home. You were surrounded by hundreds of other people doing the same hard thing as you, but you didn’t know how important it would be to cultivate relationships with other foster and adoptive parents during this time, so you just didn't.

You read the books. You listen to the podcasts. You go to the support groups. You participate in online discussions about how to best parent your children. But that doesn’t stop random people from coming up to you at the grocery store, at school, at work, even at church, making off-handed comments about your kids’ behaviors or how long they’ll be with you or if you’ll adopt them.


You frantically get ready for yet another visit from the case manager, the case worker, the CASA. As the doorbell rings, you frantically try to get those crumbs from the pizza the night before off the table. You think to yourself Why did I sign up for random people to come to my house every single month?? Who in their right mind would do that?

You try not to beat yourself up when you forget to give the medication, or when you’re late on the annual training, or when you forget about the meeting you had scheduled on the calendar.


You say sorry when things go wrong. You head into your bathroom, sit on your floor, and cry a little before entering head-on into a hard conversation with your kid. This is the third meltdown you’ve dealt with today, your patience is running low and, for the love, you feel like you might be the next one with the meltdown.


You wake up in the morning, nervous about what the day may bring but confident God has called you to this. Sometimes, you feel like you are walking on actual egg shells in your own home from the moment you wake to the moment you hit the pillow.


You go to bed thinking about all of the ways that your heart hurts for your kids, how you can’t imagine what it must be like to live with the pain of rejection, the grief of losing your family and your home and everything you know and love. Sometimes it feels like nobody else recognizes this about your family. Even with the support groups, the tons of people praying for you, the friends who listen, you feel completely and utterly lonely as you wade through the pain of the past with your kids. As the minutes turn into days and the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months, you can start to believe the lie that you are alone.

But you know the truth. You know that you’re not alone.


Everyday, you wake up and stare this broken and dark world straight in the face and you confidently tell it where the Life is.


And you know, of course, that True Life is not in your training, in the visits, in the books, in the podcasts, in the routines.


True Life laid His life down to set you free. True Life rose again three days later. And now that same Life lives inside of you.


Romans 8:11

The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.

You can live with the promise that you are not alone. The Creator of the Universe, the One who holds the world in our hands, the One who sacrificed His own Son, the Merciful Savior of the World, the Beginning and the End, the Almighty One - He lives IN YOU.

He is with you always.


Matthew 28:18-20

Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,[b] baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”


God came to earth as Immanuel, God with You. And even as He ascended into heaven, he held true to His name. He is Immanuel, God Still with you.


And because He is Immanuel, God with you, you can extend that Immanuel to be God with them. You are a Kingdom-of-Heaven-bringer. The Life lives in YOU, and YOU bring that Life to your kids.


This sounds easier than it actually is. It is easy to bring Life to your kids in the everyday good moments. But you bring Life to them in their deepest struggle, in their worst pain. You show them that Jesus is not just Life Abundant, but also the WAY and the TRUTH. You show them that He lights up their darkness. You show them that He can breathe life again into their precious little hearts. You show them that Jesus is the Life. You show them the Gospel.

When you are tired and cranky and the last thing you want to do is have a hard conversation with your teenager, remember that you are not alone.


When you make a mistake or forget to log the medication or walk away when you should’ve stayed, remember that He is with you. Remember that he bore those sins on the Cross and that He set you free. Just as Grace is free for your kids, it is free for you too. Let your heart receive the same grace that you extend to your kids.


When you are overwhelmed by the hard things that your kids have had to experience in their short little lifetimes, remember that He lives in you, and that He bears all of it along with you.

When you’d rather retreat instead of entering into conflict resolution or extra quality time or extreme patience, remember His name: Immanuel, God with You.


A Prayer

God, my heart is heavy and I am feeling lonely.

I am on my last leg, but I can't be.

I have a family depending on me.

I know that You are Immanuel, God with Me.

But I need to remember that you are with me, always.

Help me to get up and seek you every single day.

Remind me that you are with me, each minute.

Help me to lay down my desires for yours.

Remind me that yours are better.

God, be with me. Immanuel.


Truth you Can Cling To:

Romans 8:11

The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.

Matthew 28:18-20

Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 1:23

“Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us.’”

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